This is me and my entire life aka my husband, Kyler!
We've been together since our Senior year in High School. We're both 21 now and he is the macaroni to my cheese. I have so much fun with him, and I know I am one of the luckiest gals in the world to have found a guy in my teeny tiny hometown of 4000 people who loves me with all his heart and treats me amazingly. He's in the Army as a Satellite Communications Operator. He's in schooling right now, learning how to keep communication open in case Osama is spotted. Not really, I have no idea what he does because it's classified (I know that sounds cliche, but no jokes.)
"Epiphany" has long been my favorite word in the English language. I'm not really sure why, except that I think it sounds pretty and I also like the meaning. One of the things that really made me want to start writing was an epiphany I had a few nights ago. Thus, the title of my blog, where I so wittily combined my name with my favorite word. Manda-piphany. Get it?......It sounded cool at the time.
Anyway, this epiphany came after watching the movie "My Sister's Keeper". Anyone seen that? If not, it's about a teenage girl, named Kate, with cancer, and her sister, who was basically farmed and brought into the world to be a donor to Kate. I laughed, I cried, I cursed mutated cells. But at the end, I just felt like, what am I doing with myself? I am so lucky, and I take that for granted every single day. I'm healthy. All of my limbs work properly. I have plenty of food, a warm house, the option to go to school and be anything I want. The world is so beautiful all around me and I know in my heart that God is there to help me through anything. I can go to the bathroom and press a button and the nasty is gone. That sounds so simple, but do you know how many people there are in the world that would cry of joy just to have those things? Yet I find myself complaining because Checker's put mayonnaise on my burger when I specifically said "NO vomit inducing gloop". I thought of all these things and honestly was disgusted with myself. How did we get to be so ungrateful? How did I? I don't know.
Not only that, I looked back on the past few years and realized there are so many things I didn't do because I was too scared to, for various reasons. When I go to the ice skating rink, I hold the ledge the whole time. I would love to just go out in the middle and not worry about if I fall, or what people will think if I fall. I worry way too much about what people will think. I worry and I worry and I worry until there is no more room left. I will think of the worst possible thing that could happen in any situation and convince myself that it will. Why do I do that? I realized I do that so I can't be disappointed. If I expect the worst, there's no surprise, right?
I decided that's no way to live. It is such a waste to go through life being lazy and not having fun because I'm too scared. Too scared to fail, too scared to be disappointed, too scared of what others will say. Why worry about all of that? One of my favorite quotes has become "20 years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do, than by the things you did do." I don't know who said that, but high five. I don't want to be disappointed. I don't want to look back on my life and ask myself why I wouldn't leave the ledge at the ice skating rink. The next time I go skating, I'll venture out, and I guarantee I'll have 100% more fun than any other time.