Yep...I am at it again. Only this time I REALLY have my work cut out for me. There's this thing called having a baby and having a huge craving for chocolate and hashbrowns for 9 months that totally cramps my skinny style.
I'm 20 lbs over my pre pregnancy weight right now...and let's be honest, even then I was nowhere close to my goal weight. I'm short, so this goal weight is depressingly low.
This is what I looked like while Kyler was at basic.
Depressing, right? I was so skinny. And pretty. I don't often think I'm pretty, but I really felt it then. Looking at pictures from this time is really sad to me for now. Probably something to do with the stretchmarked, poochy thing I call a belly right now.
That picture was about 40 pounds ago. Pre-preggo was 20 pounds more than that, and to be honest I would love to be where I was then, even.
SO. I'm not making anymore sweets. I know, I know-this means I have to stay off of Foodgawker. Fail. :( But I saw somebody on facebook before say "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I don't even remember who it was, but I'm trying to remind myself of that. Indulgences every now and then, sure, but the bulk of my eating needs to be healthy from now on. It's not just about looks, but it's about how I feel, too. I want to have energy. I want to be able to run around and keep up with Keira when she's a toddler running all over the place. I want her to be proud when people see that I'm her mommy.
I have a huge Coke addition. By this I mean that I love Coca Cola, and not that I am a druggie. So for now I'm limiting myself to 1 Coke every other day. I need to start small on this so I don't turn into a bear...I would like to eventually limit myself to 1 Coke per week, and then maybe cut it out altogether if I can.
I also started exercising again today. I got BIG with Keira, and there towards the end when I walked up our stairs it was like I just ran a marathon. That on top of the c section and Keira's non stop feeding=lack of time, I haven't really had any sort of exercise in a good 6 months. I am seriously, very out of shape. I took a walk outside for 30 minutes and came home and did a 10 minute Pilates arm sculpting DVD. And I was dog tired. It was sorta pathetic. But it's a start.
I ordered the dvd's of the lady who has the "walk at home" program. Which I used to always laugh at and be like hur hur how do you need someone to teach you how to walk. Well walking is all I can do for now, Dr's orders, and it would be SO much more convenient to pop in a video and set Keira in her bassinet for awhile instead of always having to lug her into the stroller and listen to her scream bloody murder while I walk.
So anyway I know you aren't supposed to lose a ton of weight quickly while breastfeeding, and I also know you aren't supposed to "diet" as in have low calories. I will eat plenty to nourish Keira, rest assured. I'm just eating healthier-oatmeal, cereals, bagels, for breakfast, sandwiches, soups, salads for lunch, fruits, granola bars, and trail mixes for snacks, and sensible dinners. I would like to exercise about 4 days a week for now. My goal is to lose 8 pounds per month. My first short term goal is to lose 10 pounds...hopefully next month, I'll have accomplished that. My long term goal is to lose 60 pounds.
I have a ways to go, but I'm praying I can stay strong. I would love to look in the mirror and feel good about myself and know that I am healthy.
Here's to having a "here's what I look like now!" picture instead of a "here's what I used to look like".