I had a dream a few nights ago that was one of those dreams where you wake up and remember how life really is, and you're so glad it was just a dream. Then it made me start to think, it is so crazy how life works out. The littlest choices we make can alter our future in a completely different way.
This dream was about a guy I went to school with. It was in High School, but things worked out differently than they did in real life.
Real life-I had a crush on this kid from pretty much the 4th grade on through high school, but boy we we were never on the same page at all. We ended up "going out" (which is so funny for little kids to say-we certainly never went anywhere, and hardly talked) about 3 times total. The first two I ended because kids are mean, I hated being the center of attention, and I didn't want to get teased anymore.
Then, in my Junior year of High School, I decided to write him a note asking if he would go to Homecoming with me. I'm not a believer in the woman asking the man-I'm an old fashioned lady, and I think it's the man's job. But he was pretty shy at the time and I was tired of going to homecoming's just with friends. Anyway we ended up going together, but he never asked me out and that's where I drew the line-I wouldn't do that. I waited for a little while and we would write notes but he said he didn't want to hurt this other girl's feelings. I got tired of waiting and started talking to a jerk. Shortly after that, the other guy decided to ask me out and I said no. I don't really know why. I knew the guy I was talking to was a jerk, I liked the other guy more, but that's how it worked out. I ended up regretting it the rest of that year.
The next summer he asked me to go to the movies and I was really happy because I thought my screw up would be redeemed. He ended up cancelling that night so I went to the bowling alley with a friend...where I saw, you guessed it, him bowling with another girl. I was seriously devastated in that High School girl, woe is me, all men are pigs, kind of way. I practically swore off men.
Enter Kyler. He asked me out that summer after this incident and I said no. I was done letting guys make me feel terrible about myself, and I was done dealing with them.
Shortly after that, Kyler ended up dating a girl from another school...and of course, in typical woman fashion ;), I wanted what I couldn't have. I felt like I ruined my chance, again. Luckily they ended up breaking up not too long after and my friends told Kyler he should try again with me. He almost didn't, and who would have blamed him. I wouldn't have asked the same person out after getting shot down. But I'm so glad he did.
We had our first date at the cheap seats to see Wedding Crashers. It was probably the most awkward movie two innocent teenage kids could have picked for a first date. There were boobs. Everywhere. But I had a lot of fun and after that we went to Starbucks.
I was a really shy girl then. We were fairly decent friends because we worked together and had a lot of classes together, but still. The fact that there were no awkward pauses or lulls in conversation was great for me, because talking to people I didn't know like the back of my hand usually made me uncomfortable. I felt so at ease with him.
On top of that, he opened the door for me everywhere, including the car, he paid for everything, and he was a gentlemen. I had never been treated like that before and I really didn't expect it from a 17 year old guy.
By the end of the first week we had our first kiss on my front porch after he dropped me off from a date, and a couple weeks later I woke up to a text message that said "Rise and shine, beautiful". I don't know if I had ever been called beautiful in my life up until that point, and definitely not from a guy. He was so sweet to me and treated me like a princess. I wasn't a super happy teen, but then, I was happy.
By the time we had been together for 3 weeks I knew I loved him. People can say that's ridiculous, but it's true. I felt for the first time like I was with a guy that things would work out with.
Tomorrow is our 5 years of being together anniversary, and here we are. Never in my life would I have thought I would end up an Army Wife living in Georgia, pregnant before finishing college, married to Kyler that I grew up with, but here I am. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm so happy with how my life has turned out. I see women struggling on a daily basis with asshole men who don't appreciate them, and I thank God every day for making things work out the way they did. Thank you, God, for making that boy see something in that other girl that he liked more than what he saw in me, because if he hadn't, maybe Kyler and I wouldn't have ended up together. Thank you for making Kyler get with that other girl so I could see that I wanted him, because if they hadn't, who knows. Thank you for giving me my best friend. Thank you for giving me the only guy I can see myself having babies with, and a beautiful baby in my belly that I can't wait to meet.
I don't want sympathy because I'm a 22 year old pregnant girl without a college degree. Different things work for different people. Other people are much more deserving of your pity than I am. I love my life and I couldn't imagine myself happier.
I have a husband who tells me at least 5 times a day that he loves me and that I'm pretty or beautiful. I know without a doubt he would never cheat on me or so much as flirt with another woman. He works his ass off to take care of me and our new baby. He makes me laugh and I have so much fun with him. I feel like I can be my really odd and goofy self around him and he will love me through it. I'm married to my best friend and I love him with all my heart. In 6 months I'm about to start a new little family with my best friend and we get to raise our baby together and I will love it all the more not just because it's a part of me, but because it's a part of him, too. I am luckier than I ever could have hoped to be, all because of small choices some teenagers made 5 years ago.
No comments:
Post a Comment